iLong Shot
by ArrowRox
Summary: Because Sam and Freddie won't run into each other's arms, proclaiming their undying love for one another. Eventual Seddie. T for minor swearing. Please read and review!
1. iHate Mistletoe

_**iLong Shot: Because Sam and Freddie won't run into each other's arms, proclaiming their undying love for one another. **_

**Freddie**

I hate mistletoe. No, really, I do. The only things I hate more at the moment are… well… okay, I hate mistletoe the most at the moment. Why, you ask? Because Carly somehow managed to ruin it for me. I always thought that kisses under mistletoe were nice and romantic, but they turn out to give you a black eye, a pissed off Sam and a squealing-and-then-sad Carly. Okay, I guess I should start at the beginning.

When I woke up on December 23rd, I somehow managed to fall out of bed. No clue how that happened; I just sat straight up, and, stiff as a log, and face-planted onto the floor in front of me. Oh, okay, bad simile, but you get what I mean, right? So, after lying on the floor a couple of seconds, naturally my mom burst in.

"Oh gosh, Freddie-bear, are you alright? Does your boo-boo hurt? Should mommy get some ice? What happened? Oh gosh, why are your eyes bloodshot? Freddie, what did you do? Have you been drinking, Fredward? Did you do [gasp] did you do drugs? Bring home a girl I should know about?" She frantically started racing about my room, checking everywhere for a girl (seriously, what the hell, mom?), and even going so far as to look in my jewelry box.

I groaned and sat up, rubbing my forehead. My eyes were probably bloodshot due to the fact that Sam texted me at about one in the morning, and we were talking until about an hour ago when she stopped responding. Guess she fell asleep. Dang, that conversation was going so well! We were debating something, and I was actually winning! I think it was flowers versus forks. I was being a man and saying flowers, of course.

"Mom-" I started to say, but said woman cut me off.

"Fredward Benson, I expect better behavior from you. Maybe I can't find this female friend of yours right now, but you are banned from seeing her. You are also grounded until I say so. Oh dear me, look at the bruise that's going to be on your forehead! Come on, I'll get you some ice for that boo-boo and I will make you some gluten-free pancakes with cucumber cups and-"

"Mom, I didn't sleep with a girl last night! I-"

"Oh my gosh, did you sleep with a boy?" My mom interrupted/yelled. I groaned, closed my eyes and leaned my head back against my bedframe.

"Mom, the only other thing in my bed besides me last night was my calculus book. I fell asleep studying it," I said, and that was sort of the truth- I really had dozed off whilst studying for my test after break. Curse you, high school. "And I'm not seeing anyone, and I'm not drinking or doing drugs. I'm just a little tired and a bit dizzy, okay?"

"No Fredward, it is not- wait, what?"

"Ugh, just let me get up and take a shower mom. I'm having breakfast at Carly's anyway; Spencer invited me." Okay, that was a total lie, but, hey, what can I say? Sam is seriously influencing my lying skills! A few years ago I would never have even brought myself to think about lying to my mom.

"I don't think so. The stuff Spencer feeds you can hardly be considered food, Freddie. Do you want to end up living on the streets because you ate bad food, had health problems and had to waste all your money on them? No, I didn't think so."

I love my mom. Not. I just groaned and stood up, grabbing my things and heading for the shower. I managed to make it surprisingly quick- I think three point two minutes is pretty good. And no, I don't time my showers. My mom does. She does it to make sure that I spend enough time in there to actually soap and shampoo. I think three minutes is plenty, but, apparently, mom didn't think so.

"Fredward, did you shampoo properly? You were only in there for three point two five four minutes, and I read in the Aggressive Parenting Magazine that a boy should usually take just above four point eight nine six minutes to shower" she barked at me as I walked into the kitchen, my hair still a mess from me just having toweled it. Part of it was sticking up and a bit was hanging in my face, and I could feel the water dripping off the ends. Brushing the moisture away, I grunted in response.

"Freddie, what have I told you about taking short showers in the morning? And about your hair! Having it hang in your face provokes bad behavior; I read that in the newest Aggressive Parenting Magazine." Yup, all this 'helpful' information she gets, she gets from the APM.

"Mom, can I please have breakfast and go to Carly's?" I tried to say as sweetly as possible. I sure hoped she didn't try to make me wear that horrible sweater vest I saw her get yesterday. And when I say horrible, I mean the 'you-don't-want-to-know' kind of horrible. Yes, it's that bad. Anyway, back to my day. Mom smiled at me.

"I am so glad you're finally waking up. Oh, I saw Carly put some mistletoe in her doorway today. You know, if you knocked and she answered the door… not that that dummy would actually think you were smart enough to" my mom started, with a dreamy expression on her face. I rolled my eyes.

"Mom, what have I told you about Carly?" Mom sighed.

"That I shouldn't call her a dummy." Sigh.

"And…?"

"Oh, Freddie, do I have to say it?" Whine. Seriously, sometimes I think I'm more of an adult than her.

"Yes, that would be very nice."

Mom closed her eyes, breathing in deeply.

"You have given up on the chance that one day she might love you- oh, Freddie, why can't you still love her like the loyal boy I brought you up to be?" she shrieked, and immediately covered her hands with her mouth. Err… her mouth with her hands. Yeah, that sounds better.

"Mom!" I raised my voice slightly, but puberty, being a bitch, raised another octave.

"Alright, alright. At least now Sam-" mom started again, but I cut her off, somewhat more rudely this time, and in a level voice.

"Mom, what did I tell you about talking about Sam?"

"…Not to…."

"Good, glad we're on the same page, mom. I'm going to Carly's," I muttered, my appetite suddenly having disappeared. Weird, right? I didn't think anything of it though. Moreover, I thought about the conversation I had just abandoned with my mom, as I walked back towards my room.

And I kept thinking about it as I slipped on my clothes- a red and grey shirt and some black jeans, nothing special. I knew I was avoiding the conversation, and I know what you're going to ask, and no, I don't have a crush on Sam- well, sorta, but more on that later- but I just don't want my mom talking about her.

I mean, whenever mom talks about a female influence in my life, it's always so… demeaning! And it's worse with Sam, 'cause she doesn't actually have anyone at home who talks positively about her. So, I told my mom just not to talk about her at all. Well, it didn't go over too well, but she kept her promise.

When I left the apartment, mom was still standing in the kitchen, glassy-eyed and looking at the place I had been standing a minute or two ago. Ugh, I thought, she really needs to get over herself. I know what you're thinking, that 'since when has Freddie gotten some backbone?' but honestly, I've started standing up to my mom for a while now.

It was small and subtle things, but they made a difference. It was like, me pulling an all-nighter (texting with Sam and/or Carly, though I did this without my mom's knowledge), me spending just a few more minutes out in the evenings, and, here's the big shocker that really isn't subtle and small: I was openly refusing tick-baths, and I mean, openly-openly, like, locking myself in my room- type of openly refusing. Such a bad boy, aren't I?

Anyway, I closed the apartment door just as Sam rounded the corner. I groaned silently, not wanting to have to put up with Sam too early in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I do like hanging out with her (if you tell my mother I swear I will zap you with my laser zapper), just not that early in the morning. I shook my head though to clear it slightly, and smiled a bit.

"Morning Sam," I said through a yawn I tried to unsuccessfully stifle. Haha, stifle. That's such a funny word.

"Okay, what's with the yawn and that weird little chuckle at the end there, Fredifer?"

"Oh, uh, nothing, I was just thinking about how I was stifling my yawn," I smirked. Okay, something has to be wrong with me- I was having a civil conversation with Sam and I was enjoying it! Sam snorted.

"Stifling," she cracked up, and I joined her laugh. I was weird because just two years ago, me cracking up in the hallway with _Sam_ would never have crossed my mind. We continued on for about three minutes, going from laughing, to silent, to cracking up, to laughing again, and so on, until we both noticed what we were doing.

"Err… right," she said, abruptly turning away from me and opening Carly's door. I was standing just a bit behind her and made an attempt to follow her in, but Carly's voice interrupted us.

"Stop! Look up," Carly shouted, a smile plastered on her face. Sam and I stopped in mid action, and I looked up, but before I even saw the little branch of mistletoe, I knew what it was. Aw, carp, I was actually having a somewhat good day!

I turned my head to slowly look at Sam, and I could feel my cheeks reddening as our eyes met. Was it just me, or did I also see a faint red line creeping along her cheekbones? I heard Carly squeal in the background, and any somewhat nicer feelings Sam might have had for me suddenly vanished. Her eyes hardened and she looked at me with her 'seriously?' face.

I opened my mouth to say something in the awkward situation, but Sam beat me to it. She turned around, slamming her hand in my face, keeping me at an arm's length.

"Nu-uh, not happenin', Fredweird," she growled, stalking off towards the kitchen.

"Aww, dang it!" Carly whined, clearly disappointed. "Oh well, I'll catch someone else…"

"Carly, didn't this also happen last Christmas?" I asked her. She blushed, looking to the floor, saying nothing. Carly, well, let's just say, she got a little pre-occupied with getting people trapped under the mistletoe, and boy let me tell you, it wasn't fun. "Exactly. Do you really want the llama and-"

"Never mention the llama again!"

"I thought I wasn't allowed to mention the goat-"

"Well, that too!"

Okay, I'll admit it; it was pretty funny to see Carly get upset about animals. But it really didn't brighten my mood, because now I had a bruise on my forehead from falling out of bed, and a black eye from where Sam slammed her hand in it. Speaking of the demon, I looked around to see her standing a few feet away from Carly, looking at her with the same annoyed expression I guess I also had on my face.

"Car-ly," Sam said, raising an eyebrow and glaring slightly at her best friend. Carly tried to hide a smirk by looking to the floor, embarrassed.

"…What?"

Sam gave her the 'you have got to be kidding me' stare she gave me whenever I tried doing something cool or manly, like wearing cologne, heh. Haha, I get it, not funny. It was worth a try though.

"…Sorry…" Carly said. Okay, that was weird. Sam looked at me, _noticed my confused look_, and completely ignored me! Okay, not that I was annoyed by that, but I had the distinct impression that they were keeping a secret from me. I thought we promised no more secrets! Although… they are girls… maybe it was a girl secret. Maybe I didn't really want to know what it was.

"Yeah, yeah. I want some chicken," Sam muttered, brightening up a bit as she walked over to the kitchen to raid the fridge. I raised my eyebrows at Carly inquiringly, and she mouthed 'I'll tell you later' to me. I shrugged and went over to the couch, sitting down on it and turning on the TV.

And that was how I came to strongly dislike mistletoe. And this is where my day picks up again, becoming more interesting than I thought a December 23rd could ever be. Okay, strike that, I have had a lot more interesting days than that one, but it was just… different.

"Carly," we hear Sam whine from the kitchen. Carly replies with a bright 'mhm?' I smile, because, after all these years of knowing Sam, I know exactly what she's moaning about, even though I'm not looking at her. "There's no meat in here," Sam bluntly states, turning to look at us. Carly smirks and rolls her eyes.

"The new place across from Groovy Smoothies sells fried chicken by the bucket," Carly grins, and Sam's eyes widen. However, she doesn't move, she just stands there, grinning at Carly. "Well, aren't you gonna go get some?" Carly asks Sam after several more seconds. Sam comes out of her trance and looks at Carly with her 'no duh' expression.

"No," she states, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I don't have money. Make Frednub go get me some, I need to sleep," she tries to get away with that by walking towards the couch, her eyelids drooping, but Carly stands up and softly stops her.

"No, no, Sam, you're going to go get it."

"Wah-hahy," Sam whines, stretching out the 'why'.

"Because. You need to learn to be more responsible now we're seniors."

Sam just groans and pushes past Carly, grabbing a random wallet that was lying on the coffee table (I think it _was_ Spencer's; guess it's Sam's now) and heading out the door, muttering something about this being oppression and people should always have fried chicken waiting for her or something crazy like that.

I don't notice I'm smiling after Sam even when the door is closed until Carly has to shout my name to get my attention.

"Freddie!"

"Huh, what, did you say something, Carly?" I ask, confused, shaken out of my daze. She laughs slightly.

"I just called your name about ten times. Anyway, you wanted to ask me something?" Yup, that's Carly. Always getting straight from one point to the next, unless she's talking about guys.

"Oh, yeah, what was that weird little look you and Sam had right back there?" I ask, trying not to sound too interrogative.

"Ooh, that, well… uh… I'm not sure if I should…"

"Carly…"

"Freddie…" Carly counters in the same annoyed voice.

"I thought we said no more secrets?"

"Yeah, well, this is between Sam and me, so…"

"Carly…" I warn again, looking at her in all seriousness.

"Ugh, fine, but you need to swear not to tell anyone I told you, okay?"

"Uh, okay, but first off, is it bad? Is it illegal? Because if it is, I really don't want to hear it, not after-"

"No, no, it's not illegal. It's just- wait what? When was the last time you heard something illegal?"

Now it's my turn to get uncomfortable.

"Uh, well, I was, uh, _Sam-_"

"No, say no more, I don't wanna know," Carly says, raising her hand as a signal for me to stop. I smirk at my little victory. Bringing Sam into a conversation about something questionably legal always makes it stop, mainly because no one wants to be affiliated with her legal trouble.

"So, what was this thing between you and Sam?" I ask, trying to get on topic again.

"Well… first off, wow, you made that sound as if we had something going on, Freddie, and two, _swear_ you won't tell anyone, especially not Sam!"

"Carly, if Sam told you, why wouldn't I tell-"

"Don't tell her I told you, alright? Anyway, so, back to the thing. Well… you know the new guy in our grade, Lance?"

"Yeah, Lancelot Drew, right?" I ask, well, I guess it's more of a statement, but Carly nods anyway. The kid's got a weird name; it's understandable he wants to be called Lance. "What does he have to do with this?"

"Well, at the beginning of the year, Sam said he seemed familiar, so I told her to ask him if they met before, and he said she also seemed familiar, but neither of them could quite place it. So, they started hanging out more, and you remember the last time Sam got sent to juvie for a week?"

Yeah, I remember. It was about two months ago, when she had beat up some shop owner for not giving her as much bacon as she wanted. It was not a pretty sight. I nod at Carly to keep going.

"Well, it turns out, she met Lance there. They knew each other from juvie!" Okay, that's just classic right there.

"Really?"

"Yeah! So they've become partners in crime, I guess you could say, and she's just working on trying to sort out what she's feeling for him. You know how confused she can get…. And she's just asked me not to try and hook her up with y… someone else."

I sit there for a bit, slightly stunned at the news. Sam, trying to actually deal with something? That's new. Normally, she just runs from problems, but maybe Carly's 'you have to actually deal with stuff, we're seniors now' speech really had gotten to her.

"Oh," is my simple response.

"Oh?" Carly looks at me incredulously.

"What?" I question, getting slightly uncomfortable.

"You don't have anything to say?" Carly still looks like she can't believe me.

"Well, apart from the fact that I find Sam could do better than Lance, no," it slips from my mouth before I can stop it. Oh, carp, this is not good. Carly's eyebrows are raised and a smirk forms on her face.

"You don't even know Lance and yet you say Sam could do better?"

Ugh, this is going just great. I feel my face get slightly warmer as the blood flows to it.

"Well, I'm just saying, from what you told me… uh… you know, they know each other from juvie, who knows what he was in there for? He could be dangerous, and without Sam we can't do iCarly," I cover up, but Carly rolls her eyes and sees straight through that.

"Admit it, you're worried about her. Come on, I thought we'd established the fact that you cared about her and you two were friends."

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

"Sure, whatever. I'm just saying, Sam doesn't always know how to judge people, so I'm just saying, maybe we should…" I break off the thought as soon as it leaves my mouth; it's stupid. I'm sure Sam wouldn't want me monitoring her private life to that extent.

"Check his background?" Carly is almost straight-out laughing now. Okay, maybe it's just me, but I don't see what's so dang funny about this situation. Sam could possible like a criminal, who could have been in juvie for any number of reasons. I don't see what's funny about this situation.

"What's so funny?" I ask Carly. Her smile fades slightly, but for the most part remains intact.

"You know, you've gotten _very_ protective of Sam lately?"

"No I haven't! We've just become better… friends…?" Okay, not convincing this girl at all, Freddie.

"…Friends…?" Carly mimics me.

"Okay, okay, I care for her. There, I said it. Happy, Carly?"

"Very much so," Carly smirks.

"You're-"

"Yup"

"How-"

"Sam tells me the same thing every day," Carly smiles as if she were used to this by now. Damn, that girl is impossible! I mean, not in a bad way, I'd never insult Carly like that, but she can be pretty annoying at times.

"Why do I feel like we've had this conversation a million times before?"

"Because we have. Now-"

Carly stops abruptly when the door is opened behind me. Her eyes go a little wide in shock, but she quickly covers it up.

"H-hey, Sam. Uh…"

"Hey kiddo, just getting my stuff. Mom wants me home for some weird reason or another. Ugh, I really hope this one _doesn't_ involve raccoons…."

"Y-yeah…"

Okay, this is weird. I turn around to see why Carly is stuttering so, and I find my face several inches longer due to my newly raised eyebrows. Sam is walking through the living room, leaving the person she was with standing awkwardly in the doorway. Lance.

"Uh, Sam, why don't I come upstairs and help you," Carly manages to escape from the awkward and tense atmosphere in the room. She quickly gets up and leaves to go upstairs after Sam, and I'm left with Lance in the room.

"So… 'sup?" Lance asks awkwardly. Oh boy, this'd better be good, I think.

**Well, what'cha think? I know it's fairly long, considering my standards, and I'm not sure how long other chapters will be. I know I said I'd be taking a break, but I decided just to post chapters of this one at a time, and if anyone rushes me, that's their problem.**

**I also want to clarify that this is not your typical 'Sam gets an abusive boyfriend and Freddie helps her out' story, no. the relationships will have an interesting twist at the end, and I can guarantee Seddie by the end of this, even though it will probably be fairly slow-building.**

**Review please!**


	2. iThink He's Bad

**Thanks to those who reviewed, I will take the advice to this story! **

**Okay, if I don't get my fire alarm fixed, I swear, it will be sent flying out of my room by the end of today. Seriously, it just randomly gives these obnoxiously loud beeps, and it's driving me crazy! And if you want to visualize Lance, I tried my best to describe him as the guy from **_**Tea Time V**_** by **_**Shel-Yang**_** on Deviantart, except I changed his pants to full length jeans. I don't own that or iCarly.**

_**Freddie**_

"So… 'sup?" Lance says awkwardly, extending his hand for me to shake. "I'm, uh, Lance, but I guess you knew that already…" I take his hand and give it a small shake before quickly retreating. His hands are dry and coarse, almost as if he does woodwork or some chiz like that.

"Yeah, uh, I'm Freddie…" I say, and Lance nods, though I can tell he already knew my name. Well, duh, I am the tech producer of iCarly. I let my eyes glance over Lance's appearance.

He's not your typical looking criminal/ juvenile delinquent. He's a bit taller than me and very lean; looks like he'd be good at running. He has dark brown hair that hangs a bit in his face, and relatively tanned skin, which is weird for Seattle. His eyes are a really bright shade of grey, which is also weird, considering you don't usually consider grey eyes to be bright. I am being way too considerate. Ha-ha, get it? Considering… consider… considerate… oh god, that's almost as funny as stifling!

The rest of his appearance is relaxed, with an open rusty-red button-up t-shirt over a white t-shirt, brown skinny-jeans-that-really-aren't-skinny (or so Cary calls them), and skate shoes. He's holding a smoothie in his right hand. In short: he'd pretty much be every girl's secret dream.

But there's something else about him. He seems so… I don't know. Young? Innocent? Child-like? Yeah, pretty much. It's weird, how I get this from looking at him.

"… Is that a Strawberry Splat?" I question the smoothie. Lance's eyes brighten (if that's possible) and he grins, almost like an exited child on Christmas.

"Yeah! You like Strawberry Splat?"

"Yeah, I guess," I mutter, still not sure what to make of this guy. He looks fairly innocent… as mentioned… but looks can be deceiving. And talking of deceiving looks, I turn around to hear Sam coming down the stairs again, followed closely by Carly. Yup, Sam looks nice enough on the outside… forget I even said that… she'll break both my arms and probably one of my legs, for good measure.

"Hey, Fredwad, move out of the way, you look stupid," I hear Sam's voice from behind me, but oddly, it doesn't bother as much as it used to. Well, it used to be real, her acts of hate towards me, but now it's more like teasing out of habit. Though I do think she still gets a kick out of humiliating me. I silently move away from the door and Lance.

Sam just gives me a weird little look before leaving, speaking to Lance as she slings her bag over her shoulder.

"Yo, Spear, you're driving, come on!" she says playfully. Spear? I thought his name was Lance. Wait… oh, I get it- spear, lance, a lance is a spear… yeah, that's actually pretty clever, coming from Sam.

"Aw, Sam, I haven even started my smoothie," Lance complains, following her. I raise my eyebrows. The kid really must have some backbone, if he stands up to Sam like that. I lean out of the door, watching Sam and Lance walk towards the elevator and wait for it. Sam knocks her elbow into Lance's ribs, which sends him off a few yards to the right, but he comes back, pushing her back to the left.

Sam laughs a bit and smacks the back of Lance's head, and at this point, I am standing in Carly's door, my mouth dropped wide open and my eyebrows threatening to fly off the top of my head. I mean, yeah, Carly said Sam's trying to deal with her feelings for this guy, but isn't this a bit too obvious? I mean, this is Sam we're talking about. Sam, who is _playfully,_ and _willingly,_ touching a guy and letting him touch her back. Not in a gross way, but shoving can be counted as touching.

This is basically a declaration of love, coming from her. Although… coming to think of it, she does let me touch her by the shoulder or so every now and then, so I guess… but still, this is different. And I'm not liking it. I'm not jealous, really, I'm not, I'm just a bit concerned, you know, about the whole weird acting. I have mentioned that this is _Sam_ we're talking about, right?

So, the elevator finally gets here, and they get in. Before the elevator doors close though, I see her grab his smoothie and take a sip from it, but he just grabs it pack, and they're back to their little shoving game.

A few seconds after the elevator doors close, I turn next to me to see a stunned looking Cary standing there, also looking at the elevator doors. She blinks a few times, then notices that I'm looking at her, and her gaze is directed at me now.

"Did you see what I just saw?" she asks, slowly.

"If you mean Sam flirting with Lance, yeah," I say, equally slowly. Carly shakes her head a bit and gives me a strange look.

"No, I'm talking about the insanely hot guy who just stood in my doorway!"

"Erm, I thought Sam was dealing with her feelings towards him…" I remind Carly, but she doesn't seem to understand what I'm getting at.

"So?"

"I don't know… isn't there some kind of girl-code or so? You know, that you can't like the guy your best friend has a crush on?"

"Aw, come on, she doesn't have a crush on him. And anyway, we've liked the same guy before once or twice."

"Yeah, and look how those situations ended," I comment, more to myself than to Carly, but still loud enough for her to hear.

"Aw, is Freddie getting jealous?" Carly mocks me. I roll my eyes and shake my head, walking back into her apartment and shutting the door. She shrugs, and then goes back to her favorite activity when we're alone: talking about any hints I may or may not have dropped about having a crush on someone. I swear; Carly knows more about my feelings than I do. "Anyway, what makes you so sure Sam has a crush on Lance?"

"Oh, please, you saw the way they interacted," I say rather unconvincingly, because the more I think about it, the more awkward their 'flirting' seemed, if it was meant to be flirting. It's more personal than flirting, more affectionate, in a way, and not so romantic. I guess I was over-reacting when I said Sam had a crush on Lance. But that still doesn't mean I don't trust him!

"Yeah… but it seemed more sibling-like than anything else to me. Why are you paying so close attention to Sam anyway?" Jeesh, is 'anyway' Carly's new favorite word or what?

"Come off it, Carly," I groan. A few months back, she came up with this crazy weird idea of getting me and Sam together. Needless to say, it ended in several awkward moments (in almost all of which Sam proclaimed her undying hate for me), several punches and kicks to various places on my body, and both of us eventually blowing up at Carly. Yeah, it wasn't pretty.

"Not gonna work, Freddie. Alone today, you have admitted that you cared about her, that you pay close attention, _and_ you get jealous when she's with other guys. You _know_ you like her."

"Carly, shut up; I _don't_ like Sam," I say rather rudely and abruptly, but sometimes, you have to be rude and abrupt with Carly. I'm not saying I like it, because really, I don't, but this whole 'get Sam and Freddie together' thing is starting to annoy me. I mean, Sam is obviously trying to deal with her feelings towards Lance, and I'm quite content to call her my best friend.

I mean, right now, Sam is almost like the brother I never had. Sure, she's still a girl, but I can talk to her about stuff, stuff I wouldn't talk to Carly about. I've gotten as far as to ask her for love advice, but she rolled her eyes and said to talk to Spencer, but that doesn't mean she wasn't willing to help. You confused? Yeah, me too. Let's just say, me and Sam are good friends, and I'm happy to leave it like that. I think that right now, anything more would be a little too awkward.

Yeah, now you understand, but try explaining all that to Carly. Not going to work.

"Fine…" Carly pouts and I can tell she's not going to let this go. Whatever, I'll deal with it as it comes.

"So…" I say, for a lack of better things to say. I am saying the word 'say' too much.

"Yeah… so, are we going to do an iCarly special tomorrow?"

"As long as I don't need to dress up a lantern, I'm fine," I start, but then I quickly stop, because I see the familiar smirk forming on Carly's face again.

"And only _Sam_ could turn you on…"

"Carly!"

"Okay, okay. Wanna go buy some doughnuts?" Carly asks, and I'm pretty glad she's letting the whole thing drop for a bit. Actually, coming to think of it, I am pretty hungry. Oh yeah, I could really do with a doughnut right now. Out of habit, my hand wonders to my cell phone to text Sam and ask if she's coming, but I stop in mid-motion, remembering that she's with Lance.

"Of course I do, let me just run and grab my coat," I just say quickly, getting up and going to my apartment. "Be back in a few!"

**-Insert an annoying line break here that I am too lazy to put in via document manager-**

Carly and I find a table at the doughnut place, slightly off the center. I place the box of six doughnuts in the middle and we each grab one, immediately taking large bights out of them. Damn, these doughnuts are good! I have to get some of these to take home. Oh… wait, I forgot, my mom. Okay, looks like I'll have to get Carly to buy some.

"…And then I told Garrett that I thought he should study, and- Freddie, are you listening?" I am snapped out of my doughnut-induced trance by Carly, who is still ranting on about Garrett. Garrett is this annoying freshman she tutors (she signed up for some weird tutoring program because Spencer refused to buy her another bag or pair of shoes ever again after the llama incident of last year), and he keeps failing his tests.

"Yeah, of course I am," I say smoothly, looking at a point right past Carly's eyes.

"Okay, so I was saying, so, he comes in, and I ask him to tell me about his week, like always, and he's just like 'yeah, I got arrested on Monday and was in juvie 'till Thursday, so I missed my tests and didn't really get to study. You got a fatshake?' I swear, if Sam would have been a boy…"

And I zone out again, thinking of all the similarities we are seeing between people and Sam these days. I mean, there's Garrett, the freshman Carly is talking about. Then there's this kid in the middle school everyone's complaining about- Cheyenne, who goes by Shane. Yeah, weird, I know. The funny thing is, they are all similar, _and_ they're coming in new every three years!

That's just weird.

"And then he tells me to shove a jalapeño down my pants! I mean, can you say rude?"

"Yeah…" I say, suddenly very interested in my doughnut. I don't know why, but talking with Sam is more interesting than talking with Carly, in a certain way. Sure, talking with Carly is more pleasant by far, but with Sam, I'm not afraid just to get off topic or interrupt her. With Carly, I have to be nice and polite and listen to her problems like a good friend.

"Of course, he tells me to tell Chuck he says hi, because he's going out to vandalize the city in the night and he might get caught, so they probably won't be able to 'hang out' tomorrow. I swear, he might even be worse than- Freddie!"

"Huh, yeah?" Okay, I have got to stop zoning out and thinking about Sam. Damn, today is so confusing. First, the whole 'Freddie was drunk/on drugs and slept with a girl/boy/calculus book, then the whole mistletoe crisis, followed by the Lance/Spear/guy-Sam-feels-unsure-about debacle, and now eating doughnuts with Carly and talking about troublemakers/thinking about a demon.

"Freddie, are you okay? You seem distracted," Carly comments, and somehow, it makes me feel a bit better, knowing that she's paying attention to me.

"Honestly? This whole Lance thing is worrying me," I say, not making eye contact with Carly. I can feel her tense up a bit, but I keep going. "Like, what do we even know about the guy except that he's a criminal and he likes smoothies? Has Sam never mentioned anything else about him?" Now I look in her eyes, and I can tell she's thinking really hard as to what to tell me.

"Well… Freddie, you know, it's Sam- things aren't always that simple…"

"I think I can keep up."

"Oh, I don't doubt you can. It's just… oh come on; I've already told you she's dealing with her feelings, what other secrets do you want me to spill?"

We sit in silence for a few minutes, thinking about what just happened. After the last doughnut is eaten, I gently speak up again.

"Just tell me about Lance. Anything you know."

"Freddie, don't you think that's sort of… I don't know… stalker-like?"

"Hey! I'm just being a good friend to Sam!"

"Ugh, fine…. Okay, Lance has been arrested a total of five times for vandalism and twice for assault. He was also held in custody when he was a suspect in a murder investigation," Carly says very fast and quietly, but I hear all of it. And I do a spit-take on the soda I had just been drinking.

"Assault? Murder suspect? Carly!" I stutter, my eyes wide with shock. Okay, this is not good! Does Sam even know these things?

"Freddie, I'm just telling you what my dad's friend found out when I asked. And it doesn't mean that Lance is a bad guy! He's only been arrested four times more than Sam. And anyway, the suspect thing was when he was a freshman, and both the assault charges happened in middle school. The only thing he's up to right now is spray painting. That's not too bad, right?"

I shrug. "Guess not…" I grumble, but I'm still not fully convinced of Lance. I need to talk with Sam about this, alone. Yes, I know that may sound suicidal, talking to Sam about a guy who might potentially harm her, but I'm not risking anything. Sam deserves a good guy, one who won't pull her down, one who will help her focus on important things, like school.

"Oh, Freddie, how late is it?" Carly asks, suddenly in a hurry. I pull out my phone.

"Uh… twelve fourteen," I say and look up at her. Okay, now she really is in a hurry. She yelps and gets up, grabbing her coat and bag.

"OH my god, I promised Spencer I'd get him special paints from the special paint store on the other side of town, and it closes at one! Wish me luck!" And with that, Carly storms out. Weird girl. Sighing, I look down to my phone again.

**To: **_Sam_

**Message: **_We needa talk. Fire escape 2nite at 6._

I press the send button, watching the little icon that says 'sending message' turn to 'message sent.' These things are so weird. I look longingly at the empty box of doughnuts. I shake my head slightly, then get up and buy another pack of six- who knows what will happen tonight. I also decide to buy a pack of fatshakes- bottled fatshakes. Fatshakes are always a good idea when planning on talking to Sam about something serious.

I don't get a reply back from Sam until about four in the afternoon, when Carly and Spencer won't let me in their apartment because they're wrapping presents and my mom won't let me out of my room because she is wrapping presents too. I was just contemplating on eating a doughnut, when my phone beeps this really annoying beep. I should probably change my ringtone.

**From: **_Sam_

**Message: **_Got any fatshakes?_

I grin and text back a 'yes'.

**From: **_Sam_

**Message: **_then ill b ther_

I shake my head again slightly to clear it. Tonight's going to be a long night.

**Wow, I was actually pretty amazed at all that Sam-talk in the middle there. Anyway, please review! It makes me happy!**


	3. iTalk To Her

**Whoa! I have not been able to write in a while! Well, for one, my computer had to get fixed, and two, I threw my fire alarm out the window (yes, I actually did that), and three, school has been crazy. I am going to a different school next year, and that school technically has to accept me, but they technically can't, so I have to look for different schools that have the proper requirements before the end of the school year. **

_**Freddie**_

Sneaking past my mom isn't easy. Ever. Especially on the evenings of December 23rd and 24th, when she's still wrapping presents and her ears are like those of a… well hearing creature. But I do manage it. I don't really know how, nor do I plan to find out, but I get by my mom, claiming I'm going to Groovy Smoothies. I think she's actually glad to have me out of the house so that she can wrap presents in open, without fearing that I'll catch her.

I walk down the corridor after quietly closing the door behind me, the bag of fatshakes and doughnuts swinging by my side. I walk a bit slower than normal, with this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Anxiety? And what would I be anxious for? Ugh, it seems like in just today, so much has changed.

I set the bag down on the stairs of the fire escape and pull two chairs out from under them- a red one and a blue one. Yeah, Sam and I have been coming here a lot lately, just to talk and stuff. Okay… that was just a little awkward. Moving on.

I only have to wait for about five minutes before Sam shows up. Now, usually, I don't pay close attention to her clothes because, well, I'm a guy, I have better things to do… and don't you dare assume that I'd normally pay attention to girls' clothes! Okay… who am I kidding? I do pay attention to what girls are wearing, but Sam has always been… different. I'll just leave it at that.

But tonight I notice it. Her pants and shoes aren't that much out of place- Converse and green jeans. But it's her sweater that's bothering me. Or, should I say, it's not _her _sweater that's bothering me. It's way too big for her (goes halfway down to her knees and way past her hands) and is black and white checkered, and looks like it belongs to a guy. And, seeing as the only guys (I think/hope) she hung out with today are Lance and me, I think it is safe to assume she's wearing Lance's sweater. And it bothers me. So much.

"Hey, hey," Sam says, sitting down next to me, grabbing a fatshake and a doughnut.

"Hey, Sam," I reply, looking in her general direction, careful not to make eye contact.

"Okay, normally I wouldn't be freaked out by that tone, but you've been acting weird all day, Benson. What's up? And why'd you want to meet me so badly?" Damn, she knows me too well.

"Ah, you know, just… stuff…" I say vaguely. Dammit, I can't believe she's figuring me out so quickly!

"Stuff?"

"Ugh, must you make this hard?"

"Yes."

"Fine! Lance," I say briefly, making sure to look straight ahead and take a large bight out of a doughnut. I see out of the corners of my eyes that Sam's eyebrows quickly fly up in surprise, but she composes herself fairly quickly.

"What about him?" she asks tentatively, as if she can tell it's sort of a… touchy subject. Touchy subject? Where the hell- pardon my language- did that come from?

"Well… okay, Sam, it's no use trying to avoid this. I just don't think he's good news, okay? As a matter of fact, I think he's pretty bad news! I mean, do you even know anything about him? You know he was held in custody because they thought he killed someone?" I am fairly surprised at my sudden outburst, I must say.

"… But he didn't…" Sam begins in a small voice- very unlike Sam. "And anyway… look, Freddie, I know you're concerned and all, but there are some things, some relationships, that go further than you think. They're just… different, and people need to see that." Okay, she's got me really confused there. I decide to keep listening. "I know about Lance's past, and we've established boundaries. Look, Lance and I connect on a whole different level… so please, lay off it... unless I specifically talk to you about it."

The weird thing is she doesn't even say it harshly. It's almost like… like indirect begging… and I respect that. But… there is one more thing I have to know.

"I… I thought- Carly told me- you were trying to sort out your feelings for…" Sam has the weirdest reaction before I can even finish my sentence. She completely freezes, stiffens up. "Something wrong?" I ask, genuinely concerned. She turns her face to me but doesn't meet my eyes. Okay, is it just the light, or am I seeing Sam Puckett blush for the second time in one day?

"I… gotta… go…" she says awkwardly, but somewhat quickly, getting up and leaving, but not before taking the fatshakes and doughnuts with her. Okay, that wasn't weird at all.

"O-kay then… see ya tomorrow?" I ask, and she just responds with a small nod, turning and walking away. Weird. Okay, so I think I need to run this day through my head again.

I wake up and fall down, so my mom thinks I got drunk and I'm high on drugs, then proceeds to think I'm hiding a girl in my room. I go over to Carly's and get a black eye from getting caught under mistletoe with Sam. Then Carly tells me about Sam's delinquent friend, who appears at the door a few minutes later and drives Sam home. Carly and I then go to get doughnuts and I find out Lance is bad news.

And then I talk with Sam. And all I can think is: what the hell?

**Heh, talk about filler chapter! I know it's waaaaaay short, but it was the end of the day right there and writing the next would take long, so I just decided to leave it there. You'll probably get the next chapter sometime next weekend. Till then!**

**-DotS**


	4. iNeed Your Opinion

**I know it's wrong to do this, really, I do. But I just lost inspiration. I mean, I know how the story's going to end, and where the main drama occurs and everything, but I just can't get there. So, until I find inspiration again, I will not update.**

**But there is an alternative- that I just skip around a bit and post their relationship in a series of one-shots all based off the characters and events of the last three chapters and more. Tell me what you think! Oh yeah, I changed my pen name, don't freak out :P **


	5. iHear Some Things

**Wow, this really isn't the best of times to get back into writing this- I have finals coming up, but hey, what can I say? I have always been a little bit different from others :P**

_**Freddie**_

I don't think there is a single moment I can wake up peacefully anymore. I mean, unless you think that being woken up at seven twenty nine on December 24th by the screams of your mother is fun, I'd say that my Christmas Eve didn't start out too well. Why is my mother screaming, you ask? Apparently, at some point last night, Sam snuck into my room and crashed on the floor.

Yeah, I'm just as bewildered as you are.

"What the yuck? What is this- this demon delinquent doing here? Freddie, is this the girl you were sleeping with?" My mom looks inquisitively (ooh, big word) down on me. I sit up and rub my head- I have got to stop using it so much so early in the morning. I look down to see Sam curled up on the floor, relaxed, with her hair spilling out around her. Almost like the halo she'll never have (insert smiley face emoticon here)! Damn, I should be a poet, don't you think?

I snort slightly.

"Mom, I haven't been sleeping with any girl, especially not Sam. I guess she couldn't get a ride home or so, so she must've crashed here. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" My mother sounds horrified and shocked. Oops, I guess my choice of words wasn't the best right there. "Fredward Benson, we are going to have a long talk about this later. You are by far not old enough to have ladies sleeping in your room, you are not old enough to have ladies visit you at night, and you most certainly are not old enough to be in this close proximity with them! Now get her out of here before I call the police!"

Yeah, like that'll stop Sam.

"Mom, I'm eighteen."

"Yes, that is still young."

"I can legally make my own decisions now."

"Fredward, that still does not mean you can be in such a proximity with this… demon thing!"

"Mom! First off, you may not call her 'demon thing' and secondly, I have been in much closer proximity with her before! I've kissed her before!"

You know, the good thing about keeping secrets like that from my mom, is that they seem so much 'bad-er' when you're older. Me saying that I kissed Sam if I had been, say, fourteen or fifteen, wouldn't have been so bad. But now I'm eighteen and Sam is sleeping in my room and I say I kissed her, it seems a lot worse. And my mom promptly faints. Oh crap.

But, you know, she's definitely had worse surprises. Like once, Sam and I passed out on Carly's couch from having tried to pull an all-nighter, and Sam's feet were on my lap (she made me rub them, bug shocker there), and my mom came in. Now, if she faints when she finds out that Sam and I kissed, and she screams bloody murder when she finds Sam sleeping on the floor next to me, you can imagine what happened when she found Sam's feet on my lap.

Yeah, it was pretty bad.

I was worse when she found out I drink coffee every morning when I walk to school and when she found out that I drink normal soda.

Anyway, back to now. I decide to wake Sam now and deal with my passed out mom later.

"Sam… Sam… Sam…" I say softly, gently shaking her. Sam, of course, groans and rolls over, muttering something incoherent, but I'm pretty sure it is along the lines of 'shut up and let me sleep.' I sigh, deciding it is time for more drastic measures.

I grab Sam around the waist, trying to pull her up. Lucky for me, she doesn't weigh much (really a miracle, seeing as she is stronger than me, even now that I've joined a gym and everything), and I manage to get her standing, leaning against me, still breathing heavily. Still asleep.

"Come on Sam, you don't want Crazy to find you…" I say into her ear and the effect is almost the desired one. She shoots away from me, her eyes flying open for a second, before quickly narrowing and scanning the room. They focus on my mom, still lying on the floor, and then back to me, slowly shutting again.

"Nice try, Benson," she mutters, before sinking down into my bed, curling up under the covers and shutting her eyes. "If she wakes up and I'm still here, do whatever you did to knock her out again. I need sleep."

Okay then. Well, that didn't work, noted. I guess I will have to do something potentially life threatening. I shudder at the thought of what I am about to do, but it has to be done. I go over to my laptop and turn it on, turning the volume up to the max and connecting it to the speakers on either side. Next, I pull up the song 'Tuesday' by Ruth White.

Before I press play, I put on my noise-cancelling head phones that are connected to my pearPod, and blast some pretty loud, questionably talented band through my head (ironically, their name is Joey Talent). Grimacing, I hit 'play' on my computer, and immediately turn all volumes on my pearPod to the max.

This strategy works a lot better. A bit too good though. It wakes up both Sam and my mom. From what I can see, Sam jumps up and starts throwing things at my computer, whereas my mom is just smiling, gently bobbing her head back and forth. Wait… does she actually… you know… like this music? Okay, I always knew something was wrong with her. I just knew it.

Okay, waking Sam up with this strategy maybe wasn't the best of ideas. Why? I am not lying on the floor, with 'Tuesday' blasting in my ears. At max volume. Why? Guess. Go on, you can do it. Yup, Sam got hold of me.

Needless to say, I am very relieved when the song is over, but now Sam is grabbing me by the collar, pulling me up and smacking me across the face.

"What the hell, Benson?"

"Samantha, leave my Fredward alone!"

"Sam, please let me live!"

"Yeah, _that's _gonna happen."

"Samantha!

"Be quiet lady!" It's funny, in an odd way, seeing Sam and my mom getting into a fight. Sam turns to me closer to me and leans closer to my ear. "How do I shut her up?" I smirk and whisper back, and a horrified expression breaks out on Sam's face. Then she briefly shakes her head. "All right, but if I say that, you get me extra ham, extra bacon, and extra fried chicken, got it?"

"Ma'am yes ma'am."

"Alright Fredsadist." She turns around to my mother. "Yo, Mrs. B! I slept with your son! In the same bed. With no clothes on." And my mother faints again. Luckily, this time she faints onto me bed, so there's no loud thump or anything. She just sort of stiffens and falls backwards. Kind of funny, actually. My, my, aren't I a dirty little sadist? Hehehe.

"Come on, let's go to Carly's," I say, trying to avoid the fact that I have actually promised her extra meat.

"No, no, no, no, no, Benson, you promised me meat."

"I'll get it for you later."

"But I want it now."

"I don't have it now."

"Do you want me to wake up Crazy? I saw the vest and the pants she got for you. And the new beauty products waiting for you in the bathroom- wow, Freddork, cherry flavored chapstik? I thought that was only for girls."

I know she's lying about that last part- I don't use cherry flavored chaptstik, but if she tells one of her friends at school, everyone'll know soon enough. I roll me eyes and follow her out of my apartment over to Carly's, but she stops me abruptly in front of Carly's apartment door.

"Meat. Now." She points her finger towards the elevator and I scuttle towards it, not wanting to get hurt.

**This is a line break. Hi, my name is Line Break. How are you today? I feel oddly… stretched. It's Monday morning, 5:15 AM.**

I stumble back into the building at about nine, weighed down with three bags of meat. All I want to do now is but this stuff in Carly's apartment, sit down, and watch TV. I mean, okay. I can get into the apartment alright, and I can put the stuff in the refrigerator, but when I go to sit down on the couch, it is… oddly occupied. Well… I wouldn't say occupied. I'd say… gone.

In its place is a helicopter. Made of bananas. Well then….

"Uh… Spencer? There's a banana helicopter in the middle of your living room."

"Yeah. Isn't it awesome? I think this one might actually fly!" It's weird, how Spencer gets so excited about these things.

"Where'd- where'd the TV and the couch go?"

"Sorry, bud. You'll need to watch TV in the studio."

"Okay then."

Oh, come on, the studio is all the way up there! I groan and walk up the stairs, until I reach the iCarly studio. I'm about to open the door, when I hear *slightly* raised voices through it. Now, my mom taught me that it is rude to eavesdrop, but this is Sam and Carly having a little argument. Not always fun in general, but I might find out what's going on with Sam and Lance. So, I lean a little closer to the door and listen.

"…_told him. I mean, what were you thinking, Carly? What I told you is private, it doesn't concern the nub!"_

"_I told you, Sam, he asked. Nicely."_

"_And since when has that worked on you?"_

"… _Look, I thought it might help you. If you, you know, talked with Freddie about it."_

"_There's nothing to talk with Freddie about! And why did you think… oh no, Carls, please tell me you're not trying to get us together again."_

"_No, no, I'm not… yeah, no, I'm not."_

"_Carly…"_

"…_What?"_

"_I can tell you're lying…"_

"_Ugh, must you be this way?"_

"_Be what way?"_

"_You know, you!"_

"_Well, I'm sorry I'm not you! Now- wait, my phone's vibrating."_

I sneak a peek to see Carly and Sam standing in the middle of the studio, Carly with her hands crossed, looking a bit mad and guilty, and Sam's angry expression molding into a softer smile. She snorts, and looks up, pressing a button on her phone and putting it back in her pocket.

"_Look, Carly, I gotta go. Lance says he-"_

"_Oh, can we please not talk about Lance for a minute!" _

_Sam seems visibly shocked by Carly's outburst, and I can't say I'm not also shocked. _

"_Uh… sorry? But Lance kinda needs my help right now?"_

"_Oh come on, since when has a guy been more important to you than our friendship?"_

Is Carly… jealous? Of Lance?

"_He's not more important than our friendship, but he's still important to me. Look, he's stuck in a tree, surrounded by angry moose. I think he needs some help."_

That's when she walks out of the room and I start walking towards it, in a lousy attempt to make it look like I just came up the stairs. She pins me to the wall and glares at me.

"You heard nothing, got it, nub?"

I nod shakily as she lets me go, walking through the door and disappearing down the stairs. I shake my head and fix my collar before I go into the studio, trying to look as if I haven't just almost been beaten up by Sam.

I look around to see Carly playing Violin Hero, fairly aggressively, while muttering to herself.

"Stupid boy, getting in the way, idiot Freddie, idiot Sam, idiot Lance, criminals never good, angry moose, banana helicopters…."

I guess we've got the same frustrations right now.

I am about to say something to Carly, when I feel my phone buzz. It's a weird feeling, having your butt vibrate.

**From: Sam**

**Message: **Help me frednub. b groovy smoothie in 5.

Okay then. I silently walk out the studio door, leaving Carly to her grumblings. I wonder what Sam needs my help with.

**It isn't great. It could definitely need work. But that's all I've got for now. I'll update again at some point. Until then, review, my dear peoples!**


	6. iDon't Worry

**Yo to the people! Don't worry, this isn't another note saying I've lost inspiration. In fact, I am about two thirds of the way done with the next chapter. I'm just saying, don't expect anything until at least in a week. I am going to Boston today through Monday, and then flying to Germany on Tuesday.**

**But I will give you a little sneak peek at the next chapter, to legalize this.**

This is officially weird. Sam definitely told- texted- me to be here in ten minutes ten minutes ago, so where is she? I am at Groovy Smoothies, sitting at our usual table slightly in the middle, a smoothie in my hand, staring at the door, as if it would somehow magically reveal Sam to be there. I'm also wondering why she needs my help. I mean, a text saying 'help me frednub' is like saying please _and_ begging, by Sam's standards.

I sit there for another five minutes (yeah, I check the clock every few seconds) until finally, I see something. A small black sports car pulls up in front of GS, and stops. I can't see much through the darkened glass, but about a minute later, an angry-looking Sam gets out the passenger seat, and, from the driver's seat gets out… million dollar question… Lance!

Oh, what a surprise.

Wait… _what?_

_Lance?_

Those are my first thoughts. My second thoughts are more along the lines of 'I should've known.' I give my head a small shake to clear it, and focus back on Sam and Lance, who are arguing. Lance seems concerned, like he's trying to comfort her. Sam just looks angry and a bit… sad? No, not sad. This is Sam we're talking about, people.

Okay, now the argument has shifted. Lance looks a tad bit sad now and also a whole mix of other things- shy, angry, embarrassed, and so on. Sam is just smirking and being… encouraging? What. The. Hell. Is. Wrong. With. This. Winter. Break?

Finally, they stop, and both start walking towards the entrance, Sam looking victorious and Lance looking uncomfortable. I notice some changes- apart from their expressions. Lance's hair seems an inch or two shorter, almost like someone took a knife to it, and he's wearing darker clothes. Sam's wearing her own clothes again, thank god.

When Sam sees me, her eyes briefly light up, and she pulls Lance along, though he seems rather unwilling. She just glares at him. They sit down and Sam grabs the smoothie I already ordered for her, looking at me. Lance just slouches and looks at the table. Okay, what the hell is going on?

"Erm… hey?" I try, not sure what to say. Lance looks up and nods briefly before slouching back.

"'Sup, Fredifer?" Sam greets me. I really didn't expect anything else of her. Go figure.

"You, uh, needed my help?" I ask tentatively, but Sam just snorts.

"I don't. He does."

**So that's what you get for now. PLEASE CHECK OUT THE POLL ON My PROFILE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT!**

**I also changed my username to ArrowRox, just saying.**


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